Everyday there is another drink, which adds on to another and another, then my head hits the pillow. I have looked forward to the end of the day...drinking.
I went to the movies again with my girl friend. As I was waiting in line for the concession stand. I remember when I was the person years ago behind the counter. Wishing that time with just freeze for a quick minute so I can scream at the top of my lungs. Instead of embarrassing myself, I would suck it up and get through the customers as fast as I could. At the end of all the movies...I would clean. "Always start from the top and work your way down," I would say to myself, "sweep last." Then the shift would be over, I would have to release my tension. Too young to go into a store and purchase some beer. I would settle on other things, I am neither proud about nor do I regret it. I was a teenager being a teen. As I would make my way out of the door, I would envy the people that would walk out of the movies with an experience of a good, great, or terrible movie. Now, looking back, I am those people walking out of the theater heading to my next destination. At sixteen, I thought more, I was more hopeful. Nothing happens after the movie ends. People are zapped back into their own reality.
I am in my reality...drinking a beer, waiting on Him to get home...looking out the window wishing for something more interesting to write than about myself...
-k.sayavong
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