I do not have a job nor am I going to school this summer. There is a burden that is put upon my shoulders again by myself of course. I cannot rest for I am restless. It is too late, my eyes are drowsy, but my body cannot lay and be still. When one feels incomplete, one feels like the world is against her. To me, not even a significant other makes my mind clear. He masks my internal pain and hunger because he is wonderful, but when he is not around, I soak myself in the what I did wrong in the past to have the present. I wonder at times whether I do this to myself. There is lack of things being accomplished in my life of all sorts.
Many people are above me, and starting a new beginning, while I am stuck. And I remember when it was worst, but this time there is no excuse. Neither age nor time is the blockage. I have done this to myself because of false motivation. False ideas. Lack of action. Action: verb...to do (something). So simple. Why haven't I DONE anything?
The problem I can no longer blame on the Rents. I should blame myself, but I won't. Some Thing is always the cause and my result is the effect. I lose my motivation and excitement because my feelings at present times affect my actions. The most successful are aggressive and passionate.
I am not consistent. That's my problem.
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