Postit

I found this...

"when things lack of complications, life gets a little more boring and routine. Surprises are one thing, but turn-of-events gets a category of its own...so I rather be boring now than regret it later."

I am not sure when I wrote this or what I was going through, but it is very interesting. What happened to me? I am not the same person several years ago...not a terrible person, just different...almost becoming more selfish...finding this random post-it has encouraged me to gather all my past journals from 1998 to 2006. I seemed to stop at 2006...

Flipping through some of the entries, I remember a quote from Virginia Woolf (I believe, and I am paraphrasing).

"...women who write have too much emotions..."

I am going to take a day and actually read through all of them as to reflect and see where I have lost my more brighter self. In the past, I used to look back at these entries as a way to keep myself sane and to remind myself of my dreams because I knew I was going to forget them as I became an adult. I have a different mindset now. I have been trained to figure out beyond what the words mean in historic diaries. This will be an easier task since I (hopefully) can remember the events that leads me to write with such emotions.

I long to have those terrible emotions again so I have the ability to write. Only when I am content and indifferent, I have NOTHING to write. Truth be told, I want to write something, I just can remember the important details that make a story a story. Maybe going to France will be new perspective and I will regain the ability to write again even if it is only about the fancy cuisine.

-k.sayavong