When the days start to lack on complaints - life begins to get a little boring and routine.
Surpises are one thing, but turn of events get a catagory of its own.
So I rather be boring now. It will keep me on track. Ready to pass through obstacles easier because then I will know what I am up against.
So had anyone seen the new Mac Air? Oh my goodness, I cried a little when I saw the promo on Apple.com. I bet you all have seen its commercial, you know the one where the model pulls the existing laptop out of the yellow enevolpe. I would be afraid, I would break it, but I know I will cherish it forever. Now is the time to save and buy my first huge purchase. I am ready for the challenge. Here I go with an unattainable goal again. Let's just see in a few months, I see that it's too hard and give up getting it and blow my money on things I can live without.
This semester hasn't been too bad. I am ready to be done.
I have decided to keep myself occupied with things I used to do last year. Somewhere along the lines, I quit doing the creative things I got bored with. I need to work on that boring trait I wish to stop.
I will soon start a puzzle...I will tell you the progress, but I rather just show you with I am finished.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Friday, January 4, 2008
commencement
Let's start from the beginning when I did not care. No plans to make for it to be ruin. No disappointments to linger in the mind. No self doubt of things could have been done better.
Then it ends and a new beginning with self realization. Unplanned almost ruined me. Disappointment of self for the end of a care. Doubts of the shoulda coulda wouldas.
It is never to late to try to change (or so "they" say, but they say that about learning to, which could be a truer statement).
I just figured since it is the new year, I should give it a try because why the hell not? I keep thinking "maybe" I could try to be someone better than who I am. Some where along the line I forgot to make myself a better person. I stayed stable and not developing or striving to be one step better or at least fail trying at it, but still manage to stand moving along.
Somewhere along the line, I quit learning and stopped seeing problems from a different perspective. Even though it was easier to look to our own mind, I started to see that if I don't see from different angles, I started to take in and believing the first I see or hear. It is harder for me to stand for something because lately there has not been anything for me to stand for. Somewhere along the line I forgot myself...not the other self that is of people and relationships, but of the myself molding and changing I used to have plenty of time for.
I could make excuses for my lack of accomplishments, but it seems that complaining was part of my problem. It was all my own doing, which kills me to believe I lost control in the course of a year. Do I no longer put myself first anymore? I used to be able to see from someone else's shoes their opinion of me was. Now, I am in a daze of confusion. Well, I was. I realized before it would become a lost cause.
Then it ends and a new beginning with self realization. Unplanned almost ruined me. Disappointment of self for the end of a care. Doubts of the shoulda coulda wouldas.
It is never to late to try to change (or so "they" say, but they say that about learning to, which could be a truer statement).
I just figured since it is the new year, I should give it a try because why the hell not? I keep thinking "maybe" I could try to be someone better than who I am. Some where along the line I forgot to make myself a better person. I stayed stable and not developing or striving to be one step better or at least fail trying at it, but still manage to stand moving along.
Somewhere along the line, I quit learning and stopped seeing problems from a different perspective. Even though it was easier to look to our own mind, I started to see that if I don't see from different angles, I started to take in and believing the first I see or hear. It is harder for me to stand for something because lately there has not been anything for me to stand for. Somewhere along the line I forgot myself...not the other self that is of people and relationships, but of the myself molding and changing I used to have plenty of time for.
I could make excuses for my lack of accomplishments, but it seems that complaining was part of my problem. It was all my own doing, which kills me to believe I lost control in the course of a year. Do I no longer put myself first anymore? I used to be able to see from someone else's shoes their opinion of me was. Now, I am in a daze of confusion. Well, I was. I realized before it would become a lost cause.
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