Everything has to be so complicated when it comes to the life I live. Everything has to be black and white with them. Everything has to follow the guidelines when it has been outdated and they are the only ones that follow them. Even their own blood doesn’t follow the rules anymore. Why keep doing what they are doing when it’s been broken time and time again. Traditions, traditions, traditions! They should realize that life is different shades of gray.
It’s not fair to him that he follows and tries his best to conform and respect our culture, and you don’t try to even open your eyes at least once. I am as sick as you believe me. If you only knew the repression you put me through everyday of my life since I was old enough to think for myself then you will understand a bit.
This is one sided. I am extremely upset. The only way to make me feel better is a night’s rest. They haven’t given me the last straw, yet. I keep thinking that if I fight quietly, I will get through to them. It is not a war that I can ever win. I want to quit, but I do from time to time. Then regain some strength, but I get weak with the tears that females can’t control sometimes.
I wonder if I am wrong.
~~~~~
I have since calm down. Close-minded people bother me. I do not want to be like them.
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Monday, August 6, 2007
Events
How do you reflect on your feelings when words cannot describe in full depth the meanings of the conjunction of events that happens to you?
How do you stop being a terrible person when all you can do is be yourself?
How do you, then, tell someone your true feelings about the events that are happening?
Answers to these questions do not fix anything. It is one of those many adventures in life that makes it inconsistent. It is when you do one thing and the outcome is to lose another, so your solutions is to keep your mouth shut. Press on. And deal.
I say time and time again, I hate the dealing and I want an end result to be the best. When I gain something I want, there is another "wanting" that causes to me to want to lose what I wanted in the first place. Comprenez-vous?
Wanting less is never going to happen…What I want now…let’s see…
I want things to calm down. I want everything to fall in it’s place whether they become something negative or not.
What I hate most is things being up in the air…this used to happen more often than not when I was younger and going through my dating phase as a teenager, of course. I hated guys not able to decide…some were trying to be “good” guys and tell me indirectly whether it be a cold shoulder or telling me they wanted to become friends. (um, thanks, disappointed, but after the first day, it doesn't matter, and the excitement for you are dead). Of course they were vain and thought that their attention for me was important when obviously I could move on faster than they could because girls can move through the opposite sex faster than guys can because apparently most guys still don’t have the guts to talk to us. (Not in a slutty way of course). Being an asshole and telling the truth of their non-interest in me was more appealing, and I wanted them to do that because then we wouldn’t be wasting each others time because I didn't plan on dying alone.
Then there are the ones that does like you, but feels that there are better out there…well okay buddy…that’s why after I realized what you were doing and we broke it off, you came back wanting another chance. Right...
Well, that rant was not what I meant in the first place when I said I wanted things to show its outcome…it involves too much information that no one can catch up unless they have time and been there from the beginning.
OH look at me, I am complaining like a teenager with my blog…well if I was to inform people about the good things in my life then I would be bragging because life is great right now.
How do you stop being a terrible person when all you can do is be yourself?
How do you, then, tell someone your true feelings about the events that are happening?
Answers to these questions do not fix anything. It is one of those many adventures in life that makes it inconsistent. It is when you do one thing and the outcome is to lose another, so your solutions is to keep your mouth shut. Press on. And deal.
I say time and time again, I hate the dealing and I want an end result to be the best. When I gain something I want, there is another "wanting" that causes to me to want to lose what I wanted in the first place. Comprenez-vous?
Wanting less is never going to happen…What I want now…let’s see…
I want things to calm down. I want everything to fall in it’s place whether they become something negative or not.
What I hate most is things being up in the air…this used to happen more often than not when I was younger and going through my dating phase as a teenager, of course. I hated guys not able to decide…some were trying to be “good” guys and tell me indirectly whether it be a cold shoulder or telling me they wanted to become friends. (um, thanks, disappointed, but after the first day, it doesn't matter, and the excitement for you are dead). Of course they were vain and thought that their attention for me was important when obviously I could move on faster than they could because girls can move through the opposite sex faster than guys can because apparently most guys still don’t have the guts to talk to us. (Not in a slutty way of course). Being an asshole and telling the truth of their non-interest in me was more appealing, and I wanted them to do that because then we wouldn’t be wasting each others time because I didn't plan on dying alone.
Then there are the ones that does like you, but feels that there are better out there…well okay buddy…that’s why after I realized what you were doing and we broke it off, you came back wanting another chance. Right...
Well, that rant was not what I meant in the first place when I said I wanted things to show its outcome…it involves too much information that no one can catch up unless they have time and been there from the beginning.
OH look at me, I am complaining like a teenager with my blog…well if I was to inform people about the good things in my life then I would be bragging because life is great right now.
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